How to feel.

You spend so much time bottling up your feelings, training your mind so you won't show them, that when you finally want to express love and emotion you don't know how to. You don't know how to let those feelings out without letting everything else escape your heart. You want to free the tears and feel them caress your cheeks until they reach your lips or fall from your chin; but at the same time, you don't want to feel as weak as you do when liberating them. You want to say things like "I love you", "I care about you", "I miss you"; but how? How could you pronounce them when so much time has been spent holding back simple phrases like "I don't feel good", "I am stressed", or "I am anxious"? How do you separate what you want to show and say, from what you don't? How, when you have wasted so much time without feeling, can you start feeling again?