Dear mom,

I am sorry.
For all the lies claiming I was okay.
For all the devious looks when I did not want to talk.
For all the tears I have hidden or pretended to hide.
For all the bitter remarks that you did not deserve.
For all the hateful looks when I did not like your truth.
For all the meals I have judged.
For all the bites and treats I have rejected.
For all the nights I went to sleep early to avoid eating late.
For all the void looks when you expected a smile.
For all the fake laughs.
For all the stress I have laid upon you.
For all the doctor bills I forced you to pay.
For all the shame I caused you.
For all the pain I have injected on you.
I am sorry for making myself hurt inside and out.
And I am sorry for letting anxiety and hate take me.
But I cannot apologize for not fighting because I do that day and night.
I am sorry for the year of weakness, but I am still trying to recover my strength.